I needed this time off to re-evaluate the ongoing in my life, the good things and the bad things. All these while, I don’t know how I failed to see. Failed to see the bigger picture. And I need to start finding my true self and reflect on all the things I did and could have done.
Earlier this morning I was reading these words, and I suddenly burst into tears. It’s almost as if the person who wrote them dedicated it just for me.
"One of the distinguish features of Ramadan is forgiveness. Our Prophet SAW explained that Ramadan is a month whose beginning is Mercy, whose middle is Forgiveness and whose end is freedom from the Hellfire. This makes it a great time to ask Allah SWT for His forgiveness. It’s also a wonderful time to open our hearts and cleanse them of grudges, hatreds and bitterness by forgiving others. The path to connection with Allah SWT is always paved with tests and difficulties. And nobody gains spiritual uplifment without having to prove their mettle. This process includes facing all kinds of hardships. And if we truly want Allah’s love, mercy and forgiveness..We must remember that the hurts of this world are temporary and we are working towards that which is permanent."
Boy oh boy, the words hit me so hard I realized now, that I’ve got a lot, a lot, a lotttt of work to do to fix myself, emotionally and spiritually. I needed this break a long time ago, and now I finally have the courage to do so. And with this hiatus, I hope I am able to just breathe and live again..
I do realize this post is all over the place and I must be confusing some of you lot now, but don’t anyone go on worrying.. cos the truth is, this is the best decision I've made so far. And for the time being, I’m hoping to use these remaining days of Ramadan just to cleanse my heart and seek forgiveness to those whom I’ve wronged intentionally or unintentionally, starting with the blogosphere..
So here I am, with all my heart, praying for forgiveness from all..