Reflect..

I forgot. One too many times now, I forgot.

I forgot how it was to feel so violated. I forgot how it was to feel so cheated. I've let myself down and I've let myself drifted. And so I was ignorant, too ignorant to know what's right. And it's worst that I forgot about others' rights. And I became foolish. Foolish to the fact that Allah had given me the sign and what it felt like. What it felt like to be violated. But no, I was again too busy being upset, that I forgot. 

For days and days, I've been reflecting on every single thing that happened. And for days and days, I've been sending out emails to those whom I've harmed and violated. And for days and days, my husband has been nothing but a kind, kind shoulder to me.

And so we talked.

The things he said when he heard me muttered to him in tears were just, "Remember, everything happened for a reason, and today I'm so thankful that Allah showed you the way. And I'm thankful that this Ramadan will mean so much more for the both of us now. So, make duaa love, make duaa."

And so I reflected, and then it all stopped. It just stopped.

It's amazing how a little time off can do to your soul. And it's amazing how the power of duaa can become a shield and touch your heart. And it's amazing how the power of duaa can give you the courage and strength.

And so.. this is how it will begin, again. And this time with forgiveness and duaa.

( Thank you to those who have been nothing but kind with words of encouragement on Twitter.  I owe each one of you girls a big fat hug.)